What It Was Like To Witness Shohei Ohtani Return to the Mound
The most thrilling June game I ever did see
LOS ANGELES --
Hi friends,
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When I arrived at Dodger Stadium a little before 3 pm yesterday I had no idea what to expect. I parked in the top deck, took the stairs down to the reserve level, entered through the press gate, then took another long flight of stairs down to the club level where the press box sits. The club level is also where the luxury suites are.
Reader, I’m telling you this because when I exited the stairs on the club level, and turned right for the press box, someone very special was exiting the elevator across from the press box and heading straight toward me. Yep, you guessed it:
DECOY OHTANI.
With his mother, Mamiko, and her friend.
My brain registered DOG! the same way it does when I see a COW! while driving through farmland in central California. I shrieked something like “oh my goodness look at you!” and Decoy wiggled straight to me.
Friends, every dog is good. This dog? Oh he’s extra good. Soft, friendly, happy.
I scratched his head and he immediately sniffed the Canelo on me and went to work licking my hand, then sniffing and licking my leg under my long sundress. Mamiko was embarrassed and said “oh, sorry!” I turned to her and said “No! I love dogs!! He’s just smelling my dog. It’s fine! This has made my day!” And Mamiko smiled and laughed, showing the same kind of manners her husband Shohei does when he hits a foul ball toward the visiting dugout and screams for his opponent to lookout!
It was a 45 second encounter. And no, I don’t have pics because pulling my camera out would have been super weird. You are just going to have to take my word for it that on this blessed day I got to pet the only dog in the stadium, who happened to belong to the man 53,207 fans were coming to see take the mound for the Dodgers for the first time in a little over four hours.
After putting my stuff down in the press box, I took the stairs down to the Dodgers clubhouse. Shohei walked in a few minutes later. I thought about walking over to him and saying “I just met your dog!” but then I remembered that 1) you are not supposed to talk to starting pitchers the day they take the ball and 2) You are not supposed to talk to Shohei solo unless his agent issues you some kind of security clearance and a gold star. (By the way, Shohei’s former interpreter Ippei Mizuhara began serving his 57-month federal sentence for stealing millions from Ohtani yesterday, if you can believe it. What are the odds of this happening the same day of Ohtani’s mound return? Everything about This Man is nuts!)
Anyway, I found myself wondering if Shohei had arrived with Decoy, and that’s why I ran into them both. Then I realized Shohei had probably already been at the stadium for hours, prepping to both pitch and hit. I am relieved that Mamiko has Decoy to hang out with while her husband is extremely busy doing baseball things.
We were told Shohei would only pitch one inning, and act as an “opener.” This is because the Dodgers cannot send him to their Triple-A affiliate in Oklahoma City to do rehab starts like they do with their other pitchers returning from injury, because Shohei is their designated hitter, and that’s inconvenient.
The thinking was that Ben Casparius would be the “bulk guy” to come in behind Ohtani as the “real” starting pitcher. I like Ben, and wanted to talk to him before the game because some fans had been telling me “This is the Dawning of the Age of Casparius” and I had just spoken to Dodger organist Dieter Ruhle about playing “The Age of Aquarius/Let the Sun Shine In” by the Fifth Dimension whenever Casparius was on the mound. Dieter liked the idea and said he’d do it, which he did. I wanted to ask Ben if he’d ever heard of the 56-year-old song, but realized it was inappropriate to talk to him, too, as he was *also* the day’s starting pitcher.
These are the hidden rakes we must avoid stepping on in the modern game.
Ohtani was in the clubhouse for a minute or so, joking with countryman and rotation mate(???) Yoshinobu Yamamoto. Then he grabbed a bat and left. I noted I had never seen a starting pitcher do that before, and was chastised by a Giants fan for Madison Bumgarner erasure.
I then walked into the interview room, where Dodgers GM Brandon Gomes was to hold a press conference discussing Ohtani’s return. This is when things got weird.
After about ten people shouted questions, I got mine in.
“How concerned are you that if Ohtani hurts himself pitching you will lose your best hitter?” I asked from the second row.
What he said made my jaw drop.